Fired at Fifty
“I am still in shock and awe at being fired.”
Peter Arnett
(This is a repost of, “Fired! Going Out with A Roar,” partly excerpted from my book, “Don’t Hang Up!”)
“You’re fired” may not be politically correct these days (except for Donald Trump on The Apprentice) but being fired/terminated/let go/laid off/downsized/given early retirement – however it’s phrased – all mean the same thing: you don’t have a job anymore.
Job loss, particularly in mid-life, can be a bit like a small death – of everything you have worked for over the years. Like a death, it also affects your/your family’s lifestyle, and often leads to a trail of other losses, trials, and struggles. It changes the course of the rest of your life, your expectations, and forces you to face the fact that your best years may well be behind you.
Or wait. Your best years may still be ahead of you.
“Don’t Hang Up!” is not only my story but that of many former successful professionals who, in mid-life, have been cast out of the professional world. We have had to come to terms with job loss, look for a way back in or up, struggle to make a comeback, a new start, or reinvent ourselves in a new career and lifestyle.
This is the start of my story.
Early Retirement? Go Out With A Roar
Someone is “after” my corner office. The whispers and warnings, like damp rot, seep through the ivy-coated walls to where I sit as my colonial desk. I sense the vultures circling, waiting for the moment when they can catch me, down and unawares.
Again? Why is my office such a target? For one, its location in a quiet corner of our building. Add a landscaped patio view, forest green décor and designer colonial Mexican furniture, and size – large enough to contain a small conference table – all make it a desirable status symbol.
In my fourteen years occupying it, many people have aspired to it, and tried, by fair means or more often foul, to wrest it away from me. Foiled every time.
This is my second home. Here, I have celebrated successes and teetered on the verge of dismissal. This office has seen both my laughter and my private tears. It has witnessed my change from the adventurous, optimistic, dreamy eyed young executive who first inhabited it to the hardened, high-powered, stressed-out senior VP of today.
For me, this office represents an important chunk of my life.
For others, it represents status, a symbol of who they want to be in the business world.
In recent months, after we were merged – more like a takeover – with a much larger New York ad agency, our new bosses brought in Marty as manager. One of his tasks has been downsizing, and he’s taken to it with a vengeance unparalleled in the agency’s fifty years. A fierce little man, he zooms around on invisible skates as he goes on his deadly way. Speedy González with a machete.
I must be on his hit list. Everyone of any importance, and some who aren’t, are on it. New York wants to revamp the place and get rid of us old-timers. Even the office boy, now middle-aged, may be walking the plank soon.
Today, I returned from my campaign presentation to a difficult client. Victorious. Still at the top of my game. A reason to celebrate. So when Marty calls me into his office, I’m pretty certain it’s to give me a clap on the back for my achievement.
He embarks on what sounds like an oft-performed speech, so smooth that it takes me several minutes to realize he’s trying to persuade me, in the nicest of terms, how it’s in my best interest to take early retirement. I hear, “Corporate takeover casualties,” and “Anyone who’s been more than ten years in the agency.”
I don’t move, not a muscle or a blink, as if my hearing is my only sense left. He’s the one who reacts to my non-reaction, gets muddled, and waffles on a bit about how I need not worry about my future.
“It shouldn’t be hard for you to find a good position,” he says. A blatant lie. At my age, once you’re out of a job, you’re out of the market. And who wants to join the bunch of middle-aged has-beens in search of work in a youth-oriented world?
“I don’t think I’ll look.”
“Have something else in mind?”
“I’ll get rid of my high heels, give away my business suits, let my hair grow down to my waist… and strangle you with my pantyhose. Then, I’ll open a restaurant.”
His flinch is barely noticeable. He recovers fast. “You should do very well. Congratulations on today’s presentation. You did a great job. You can go out with a roar.”
Roar indeed!
So someone else will inhabit my office after all.
I hope that my ghost will forever haunt it.
Tags: Ageism, Corner office, downsizing, economic sinkhole, Fall from grace, Forced early retirement, high-powered career, Life challenges and motivations, Loss and Liberation, Midlife job loss, Overcoming Obstacles, turning point
This entry was posted on Friday, June 24th, 2011 at 6:49 pm and is filed under Ageism, Challenges & opportunities after professional job loss, Don't Hang Up!, Don't Hang Up! series, Midlife professional challenges. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
38 Responses to “Fired at Fifty”
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I loved your response…did you actually say that?
You must have recorded the response on camera. One of my uncle is scared of the same thing. He is 55 and thinks the new youth oriented fever going around might harm him more than he thinks. He has plans for a book shop he says! Something to keep him indulged if the youth fever does hit him hard!
Hi Hajra,
Yes, I did tell him that and a lot more. Just couldn’t put it all in a post. It’s in the book. As for your uncle, he’s suffering from the same apprehension that so many 50+ professionals also have – that the youth oriented fever will displace him. Actually, this is not new, it’s been happening ever since droves of young MBA’s started appearing on the scene and also, all the large company mergers and takeovers. Tell him it’s good to make plans in case but be very careful that he knows what he’s getting into. I made Major mistakes following my early retirement and lost everything.
Perhaps you need to start a group on FaceBook for “pissed off baby-boomers who’ve been fired.” Who knows what that might lead to especially in our economy today. I already know two women who wold join your group. Great post and glad your back into blogging.
Sonia, What a great idea! I’m surprised one doesn’t exist already. I’ll have to look into it. Also, the name’s a bit long – and I’m not a baby boomer – not that it matters. How about Pissed Off Fired Baby Boomers? Or Fired Pissed Off Baby Boomers? Let me know.
In this time of economic meltdown, and no relief in sight, I think if a person loses his/job, they must simply find another, even though it is not the kind of job they like. Of course, with the proper mind set, one can learn to like any job.
Peter,
You’re so right and that, precisely, is the message of my book. I had to take a bottom-of-the-barrel job as an $8 an hour phone researcher. Not only did it open up a whole new world to me but it also gave me a new start and a new career.
Wow, must’ve been tough. So tough.
Josie x
Josie,
Yes, it was tough, especially what followed after I branched out on my own and lost everything, but it was also challenging, and eventually led to a whole new start – from the bottom up – and a new career in research. And I started writing again. So I won in the end.
It happened to me once – from a high profile academic administrative position. I didn’t like it, and especially didn’t like that I wasn’t given any reason. The new president simply said it wasn’t that he needed someone who could do the job better, he just wanted someone different. I’m still trying to figure that out.
Fortunately I still held tenure as a professor so the financial discomfort was minimized, but until it happens to you, it’s very hard to understand the feelings one has.
Thom,
It happened to you in the academic world and it’s happened to professionals everywhere. It’s like a plague that affects many older workers/Baby Boomers. And yes, it’s very hard to understand the feelings after this occurs except that millions across the world are now going through this very experience. I just have to ask and everyone comes up with a story.
The man was laid off, lost his job, axed, whatever you want to call it, almost 4 months ago. There is no end in sight to his unemployment status either. There is nothing in his field anywhere. It’s so very stressful. I’m trying to encourage him to go in a completely different direction, but he’s hesitant. It’s scary to change your life at any age, but when you get older, even more so. He’s 47
Lalia,
I certainly know what that man must be going through and also what he must be facing. Unfortunately, there are far too many similar stories to his and to mine. I also knew a man, a general manager of a major hamburger restaurant chain, who was laid off at 45, got another job in another area (advertising) and was laid off again at 47. Couldn’t find work at that level anywhere and ended up working at a low-paid minor job. That happened in the 80s. So it’s easy to imagine what the situation is like in today’s economy for a man of that age.
Fortunately, there are now ways to make a new start and a living using that great resource, the Internet. Opportunities are everywhere if you find out where to look and how to put them into action. I also know a man who made a comeback in his sixties and is now at the top of his game again – at 66.
After 14 years of living in that office and growing to the position you had, it’s got to be hard to see it disappear so quickly. Awesome response to the boss! Looking forward to reading the rest of it in the book!
Eric, Thanks for your comment. Hope to have the book out later this year. It’s all about making a new start after professional mid-life job loss – see my website, the blog is attached to it, just click on Home.
Great writing. I love your spirit. I know so many people right now who work under incompetent idiots who feel threatened by people who do an excellent and professional job and the only thing they can think of is to get rid of them. Even if it hurts the firm or the organization. It’s infuriating.
Claire, Thanks for your comment. You make a good point that incompetent idiots who feel threatened are also a big reason why good people lose their jobs. A lot of things in the business world are unjust or infuriating and a lot of times, people are forced to keep silent about what they see in case they may also lose their jobs. A bit of corporate Nazism.
Great writing, Penelope, and a subject matter that far too many people can relate to!
Adriene,
That’s precisely the reason why I wrote this and why I wrote the book.
Hi Penelope -
For all of the reasons you mentioned above, and 30 more, I will not work for a company/corporation anymore. The ugliness, hypocrisy, unethical behavior, politics, back-stabbing, ect. ect. ect. is all that is bad in this world colored up to be something that it is not – a good thing. There is very few (less than 1%) of the medium or large corporations interested in it’s employees or customers, or this planet’s welfare. You and others may believe that there are many more but I will say it again… there is not many at all. This subject can rock me to the tune of a novel. I just don’t like feeling angry when I write, lol. The world is in huge trouble now because of big business.
Charlie,
These days, I have to agree, and for the reasons that you mention, I turned down a six-figure job offer when I was working a phone room and making $10 an hour. Everyone thought/thinks I was crazy, but I knew that I didn’t want to get back into the vicious corporate world, and I preferred to remain a low-paid, but content, worker. Recently, someone told me that he didn’t believe that part of my memoir and I walked out on him. The subject also makes me very angry and that was one of the reasons why I wrote, “Don’t Hang Up!”
My favorite: “I’ll get rid of my high heels, give away my business suits, let my hair grow down to my waist… and strangle you with my pantyhose. Then, I’ll open a restaurant.”
You gave me a good laugh and that was a witty thing to think or say…not sure if it was just a thought bubble.
It is sad how our world has become one that seems to give more weight to youth rather than experience. I’m not saying the young are worthless or don’t offer any value. Not at all. And there are older people who do need some lessons on humility and willingness to learn, yes. But sadly, esp. in today’s job market / economic climate, the young are ‘cheaper’, easier to ‘maintain’. Ultimately, it’s really how we’ve all become commodities instead of real valuable ‘with soul’ humans. *sigh*
Joy,
Glad that I gave you a bit of a laugh. Truth is, I gave myself a big laugh – at Marty’s expense – much later on when he actually wanted to hire me (for another job) and I turned him down, even though I was working as a $10 an hour phone researcher.
And I did let my hair grow to my waist, and got rid of my high heels, never wore another business suit to work, but the last, to strangle him, was stated but of course never carried out.
How sad the truth of your last line. In the corporate world, the individual does not count for much beyond his/her level of achievements and even those are worthless after a certain age, level, or when they want to downsize or find someone else to do your job.
Hi Penelope,
I, too, love your parting remarks. It’s interesting about the hair. Always been a long hair person. When I started looking for work, I got some suits – ugh! – and cut my hair shoulder length, but once I got the job, grew it back as I did not feel comfortable, at all.
And wore really bright colors and never wore those nasty suits again.
I think younger folks may get hired over older folks for several reasons. Lower pay maybe, but also more enthusiasm for being a work slave.
Around 40, people often wake up to the life they are leading and want more. They don’t want to work weekends. The young have just come out of school and are all schooled to dive into a career, make money, buy tons of stuff. (Little do they realize mortgaging themselves will make them less job-worthy in the future.) At some point, many people stop wanting to play the game. If it were the money, more senior workers could be offered less or ask for less. If they undercut the young, then they’d get the job.
To me, that’s what’s really at the root of discrimination. Not the age, but the attitude of the game. I do have friends over 60 that easily get new jobs. They seem willing to play the game.
I went on an interview in my early 40′s and I knew exactly what the interviewer wanted, BUT I COULD NOT give him that answer, even tho I knew I’d be throwing the interview, which I seemed to have up until that fateful question.
Thx, g.
Hi Giulietta,
I think you’re right. When I look back, I can see how willing I was to sacrifice weekends, evenings (I’d often get home after my youngest, 4 1/2 months when I started my big job, had gone to sleep). Other people (nannies, grandmothers, maids, and my husband) looked after my children instead of me. I gave up most of my social life outside work, and made my work my world – as was expected of me. But, as the years went by, I started to leave work earlier, became more lay back and let subordinates do the hard stuff. But that I’d won that right and also, I was in a position to enjoy it. I even asked to be taken off my major client, Procter & Gamble, after 14 years with them, because I didn’t work well with their newly minted MBAs.
So you’re right. Younger folks are more willing to be work slaves. However, nothing can take the place of experience or work ethic or knowing what works and what doesn’t.
Penelope,
The reply now works! Liz fixed it. Isn’t this great?
Yes, the business owners might be better off with the experience and not expect folks to give up their lives for work. Who thought that pattern up anyway? It makes no sense.
thx, g.
Giulietta,
Who thought up that pattern? When big corporations became really big and impersonal. When owners stopped managing their companies. Mine was a great company to work for when the owner was alive. It was only after his death when an American agency stepped in and took over that it all became impersonal and eventually, I’m glad to say, fell apart.
Wow, Pennie! I was captivated throughout your entire story and can’t believe this happened to you! This is partly what makes me afraid of office jobs or even about getting to comfortable anywhere. Maybe this is why I’m an incessant wanderer and traveler — to keep myself on my toes, so there are no more harsh surprises.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I’m especially proud about that last line to your boss! =) You are an inspiration, friend! =)
Samantha,
Ditto, you are also an inspiration with your insights and seemingly boundless enthusiasm and energy. People like you inspired me to continue posting in my blog, and what’s more, to up it to twice a week vs. occasionally. However, I should say that for at least half of my working life in the corporate world, I felt fulfilled and content with what I was doing. Maybe because it was an earlier time when demands were different and there was less competition, and things were a lot slower. Also, an office job, however great the office may be, is still another form of imprisonment.
As for the last line, when and if you get to read the book, that was not my last word to Marty. When he came looking, I wasn’t available.
Very compelling piece!
It’s taken me fifty-eight years to figure it out, Penelope, but there’s no such thing as job security. Doesn’t exist.
I’ve been pounding the pavement for almost three years and I’ve come to one conclusion …
In the job market, age matters.
Experience? Dependability? Maturity? Skills? Talent? Glowing evaluations? Pfffft!! Means nothing and holds no weight. Really hard pill to swallow, too. I know. I’ve choked on it several times.
Your exit speech was nothing short of perfect!
Melanie
Melanie, What a harsh conclusion you have had to reach and I’m sure that you’ve worked hard at finding work. So now it the time to stand back and reassess what you have been doing, and if it hasn’t worked so far, then maybe you have to look at other, not as appealing, options. Go to my website http://www.donthangupbook.com (or access it from here) and see what I did. My low paying, bottom of the ladder job turned out to be one of the most fulfilling jobs in my life. It also set me on the way to a new start. Hope it helps to give you an idea. Also, the Internet is full of opportunities. Are you in LinkedIn?
Thanks, Penelope, for saying what I’ve been thinking for quite a long time now. I needed to hear it.
I’ll check out your site and read up on your story. Sounds intriguing … and hopeful.
Yes, I’m a LinkedIn lady!
http://linkedin.com/in/melaniekissell
Melanie
P.S. Will you consider installing a “subscribe to comments” plugin? Would be great to follow your discussions here. Thanks!
Melanie,
Let’s link up on LinkedIn. Also, I want to get a plugin and several other features that we overlooked/didn’t consider when we designed the blog. I agree about following discussions as sometimes they can be very interesting.
I think Marty is hooked on adrenaline, and as an adrenaline junkie he has missed the whole meaning of life.
I really related to this. After working in nursing management in various hospitals for almost ten years, from charge nurse to nurse manager, I was totally burned out, and quit….walked away. And went back to bedside nursing to rediscover why I became a nurse after all.
I wish you luck in whatever you endeavor to do Penelope. It was your company’s loss, as I am sure you are aware. And they probably don’t even realize it. Sad.
Excellent post!
~cath xo
@jonesbabie on Twitter
Hi Cath,
Your story has a great twist on the job loss version. You recognized when you were burnt out and quit while others would have hung on desperately and been miserable. Actually, my company did recognize their loss, both of me and others who were also let go. The truth is that with the merger, about 40 of us old-timers, from someone even higher up than I to the office manager, were fired. If it had just been me, that might have been more devastating.
Penelope, Wow, your story sounds like an episode of Mad Men, but true. Perhaps you could get a job writing for that show, since you have the experience and the writing talent.
I am so sorry that happened to you. Our society needs to value wisdom and age. You would think the baby boomer generation would have fixed age discrimination by now.
But in a way I’m not sorry because that experience seems to have opened up a new life to you that you enjoy more than your old life. It’s really your former employer’s loss.
How about giving the restaurant business a whirl? If that was the first career choice to come to mind, perhaps you should give it a go?
Best wishes to you for much continued success, no matter what you do!
Hi Carolyn,
Thanks for your comparison to Mad Men though this happened years later. However, I did work in advertising in New York in the 60s so I’m very familiar with that era. Unfortunately, the baby boomer generation had a lot of other things to fix and I don’t think they ever looked far enough ahead to consider that they themselves would become victims of ageism. I did give the restaurant business a whirl and lost everything there. That is why I’d caution people with a food passion/hobby against turning this into a business, or to first take a restaurant management course, and thoroughly research the business as nine out of every ten budding restaurants fail in their first year.
I love your spirit Penelope! Having changed countries, changing jobs and looking for jobs is a bit less traumatic now. That said, I am always a bit concerned: what if I don’t find anything? There is no such thing as a job for life anyway…
Muriel,
Your last sentence is sadly all too true. It used to be that people would stay in one job for a lifetime, but when I was fired/laid off/forced to take early retirement, a couple of other people – the office manager and the executive VP in charge of media and research, both of whom had been at the agency for 45 years since it started, were also forced out. For them, it was truly a disaster and for one, it proved to be the beginning of the end as he died just a few years later.