The Drunken Captain
(This is a true story, excerpted from my, as yet unpublished, motivational memoir “Don’t Hang Up!” This piece appeared in the “Baja News” newspaper, in Commonties.com, in “On the Border” newsletter, and in this blog as “Incident on the San Diego-Tijuana Border.”) 
“Racism is man’s gravest threat to man – the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason.” Abraham Joshua Heschel
The border shuttle bus from the U.S. is crammed with Mexican housekeepers, schoolchildren, and construction workers exuding the odors of physical labor and exhaustion.
Three men jump on and stand in the aisle. Muscular, clean-faced, with shaven heads, easily recognizable as American service men. One, older, has the bellicose eyes and stance of a soldier who’s seen too much action. Powerfully built, though more flab and gut, he lets out a huge belch.
Their voices are so loud that everyone can hear them. They’re marines on a Friday night outing to Avenida Revolución in downtown Tijuana. One, surprisingly, has a Scottish brogue, and he addresses the older man as Captain. From what they say, I gather the subordinates are accompanying the Captain for an obvious reason: he’s been drinking – heavily.
As the shuttle makes its way through jammed border traffic, the Captain blares, “Can’t wait to get my hands on some big Mexican titties and f… a couple of cunts.”
The Scottish marine says, “Captain, please, there are women and children here.”
“Who gives a f… for the shit suckin’ bitches? They don’t understand nothin’.”
As he continues in this vein, the Captain’s befuddled mind and clouded eyes fail to notice another Anglo passenger. Me. Or would it make a difference?
The woman beside me asks, “Señora, you speak English, try and calm him down.” The one in the seat behind says, “Please, he’s frightening my daughter,” and she covers the little girl’s ears.
Others turn, as if expecting me to tell him off. Because I’m Anglo? Or because most of them. dependent on hard-to-get U.S. work permits and bullied by authority figures on both sides of the border, have learned to turn the other cheek.
Why should I have to be the one to confront the Captain? I don’t want to enrage him more, and I doubt that anyone here would support me against what they must see as as a mad-as-a-rabid-dog gringo. How to reason with a big, drunken bully, frothing with booze and contempt? His men should handle him. I catch the eye of the Scottish marine and mouth, “Please do something.”
He tries. “Sir, you’re scaring the passengers. The women and children.”
The Captain glares at us. “These lousy sacks of shit? They can go f… themselves. All Mexicans are good for.”
My image of the military was forged by my naval commander father. A captain is someone to respect. Not a rowdy, foul-mouthed, offensive individual. His behavior would get him evicted from American public transportation, but not from a Mexican shuttle, though technically, we’re still on American soil.
Heat rises in my face as I fight the urge to stand up, tell him to mind his manners, and uphold the honor of his rank. Why bother? He’s not actually threatening anyone, and this ride will be over in ten minutes.
Then he mentions one particularly nauseating thing he intends to do to a Mexican puta. Something so unmentionable that I’ve never heard it uttered out loud before.
The words fly from my mouth before I can hold them back. “Captain, stop insulting Mexicans.”
He turns, his eyes filled with anger as he marks me as the one who spoke. The passengers huddle against each other or back into their seats. I’m on my own, facing this Goliath on a rampage.
“What did you fuckin’ tell me to do?” His bellow is a challenge.
“Stop insulting Mexicans.” Armed with bravura, I tell him, “And get off the bus before we cross the border. Who wants you in Mexico?”
“Who do you think you are, the fuckin’ high-and-mighty Queen of England bitch?”
Fueled by alcohol and marine machismo, he advances on me, arm raised to punch me. I brace myself, tightening my fist. If I have to, I’ll whack him first, right in his gut.
In a blink, the two marines grab him and shuffle him up the narrow aisle towards the front.
“C’mon, Captain, let the lady be,” Scotty says.
“What lady? That dried-up old bitch,” he yells.
His men have him corralled at the end of the shuttle so rather than Mexicans, I become his verbal target. His stream of abuse falls with the impact of invisible stones crashing against me. I sit ramrod straight, not daring to contest him again, as he continues without letup until we reach downtown Tijuana.
The marines are the first off the shuttle. Several passengers say, “Gracias,” to me as I get down. The Captain staggers away with the two service men in tow.
So I’m surprised to see Scotty come back and tell me, “Sorry about the Captain. He’s not himself today. Just suffered a big personal loss.”
“He’s out of control,” I say. “I’d like his name to report him.”
“I can’t do that, ma’am. They’d have me balls for breakfast.” He pleads like a kid barely out of school. “He’s an officer and it would mean big trouble for us for not keeping him in order.”
“Isn’t it your duty?”
“I wish I could help you, ma’am, but it’s not my place.” And he hurries after the lout, his senior officer.
Next day, I ask a co-worker, a former marine, what can I do to report the captain for unseemly conduct.
“Stay out of it.” He warns. “The marines don’t like civilians getting involved when an officer’s misbehaved.”
I’d like to believe that sooner or later, the Captain will get what he deserves – lose his men’s respect and tarnish his image – but things don’t work that way, and I rather doubt it.
I do have one weapon that I could use to get back at him. As the saying goes, “The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Let’s see if that’s true.
I’d love to hear from you. How would you react in a similar situation?
Tags: Anti-Mexican slurs, Commuting Tijuana-San Diego, Confrontation, Cultural insights, Ethnic bullying, Ethnic prejudice, Masters of the world, Overcoming Obstacles, San Diego, Standing up to a bully, Tijuana, U.S.-Mexican border town
This entry was posted on Friday, June 17th, 2011 at 5:18 am and is filed under Excerpts from Don't Hang Up!, Facing Obstacles in Life, Life Challenges, Mexico, On the U.S.-Mexican Border, San Diego, Tijuana. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
32 Responses to “The Drunken Captain”
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I’d like to think I would speak up as well, but whatever restraint he had toward you (if any) he’s unlikely to show toward a challenging male. I might not have, to be candid. I certainly would have spoken to Scottie. Could I convince the driver to stop until he was under control? Sounds unlikely. What would have happened if you extended to shake his hand and introduce yourself? He might have offered his name. Then ask him to shut up. At least you had his name – which I would have definitely pursued.
Two quotes:
“All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent.”
Thomas Jefferson
“The only thing needed for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”
Edmund Burke (except that he never actually said it).
Thanks, Thom. Everything you mention here seems so logical, yet at the time, it didn’t even occur to me or anyone else there. Everyone, including the Mexican driver, was petrified. We were still on American soil and the man, though not in uniform, was obviously someone not easy to deal with. I would never have held out my hand to him – it would have made me seem complicit and another Americana who looked down on Mexicans. However, in your case, that might have been viable.
Love the quotes, especially the second that I know well but just didn’t come to mind when I posted this.
I can’t quite imagine how I would react but it would be with loathing. I’m so proud that you stood up and took control of the situation as you did. Animals such as this need to be brought to their knees. So often one encounters a situation so suddenly it seems as if it is not actually happening to the observer. We have become a world of ‘watchers’ and ‘waiters’, each hoping someone else will take control of a bad or dangerous situation. Thank you for setting an example that the rest of us should follow. I only wish the man hadn’t been so drunk that he might have retained a little of the wisdom and truth of your words.
Hi Betty,
I agree that we are a world or ‘watchers’ and ‘waiters’ each hoping someone else will take control of a bad situation. People are too personally afraid to intervene, but that has always been the case and not just now. And bullies are as old as mankind. As for the captain being too drunk to remember, he probably didn’t but I can bet that Scottie did.
I think that the guy is a scumbag. And to top it up, he was drunk, There is not much that can be done about it. I really don’t know what I would have done.
I would say: let the madman hang himself. It was very brave of you to stand up to him, and I am sure that he will show his true colours eventually.
Muriel,
I agree with you. Sooner or later and probably sooner, that captain was going to get his just deserves. If he continued to behave that way in Tijuana, he may have got into trouble there – those Mexicans in the bars and nightclubs have no compunction about beating up someone like him though unfortunately, it gets back to the U.S. as having been an assault – but someone else might have seen and reported him. If not, it doesn’t take long for drunks in the military to be caught and demoted. I just pray that he wasn’t sent somewhere like Iraq where he could beat up on the locals to his heart’s content (this happened in 2002).
The pen is definitely mightier than the sword! And I love it that you are pursuing your dream of penning down that book! Kudos!
I wouldn’t know how to react in such a situation. I might consider myself as brave and the fighting sort; but there have been times when I have hesitated in fighting back so I am not a very “reliable” “fighter” that way, so I really can’t say.
But yes, racism is something that should be fought against. Discrimination of any kind- race, color, religion, gender, sexuality, anything. We are all equal and that is the way it should be…always!
Hi Hajra,
Yes, the pen is mightier, and whenever I can I publish this account. The book is written, has been for some years, but I’ve encountered some delay publishing it. Probably later this year.
You never know how you’ll react in a situation like this, though I can’t just stand by and let injustice happen. The thing is that I’d never encountered such rampant racism until I came to the U.S. After living so long in Mexico, I was color blind in that sense so it was horrifying to see.
Way to go girl! Bravo for having the courage and resolve to stand up to someone obviously out of control and potentially very dangerous. Unbelievable that such attitudes still continue to dominate some sectors of society.
I admire what you did, I am unsure if I would have done it in the same situation. I have been on the receiving end of a torrent of abuse before, and its not pleasant. Its like we must put up an invinsible shield to protect our goodness.
Thanks for sharing.
Hi Maureen,
I don’t know if I was being brave in this situation or it was because I had no alternative because others expected/asked me to stand up to him. It may also have been foolhardy, given the man’s condition, as he did threaten me physically. The point here is that this Captain was able to get away with his bigotry and insulting behavior because he was an American and a military man.
I have to think that I would, like you in this scenario, would only be able to take so much before speaking up. My mouth has gotten me in some trouble in the past ha. Considering how volatile he seemed it might not be the best idea but sometimes we just can’t sit by and watch someone be so abusive.
Good for you, Lalia, that you speak up even if it means getting into trouble. Silence is the enemy though I have to agree that standing up to a drunken bully is not always a good idea.
He’s a disgrace to the U.S. military, the Marines, and the citizens he serves. He may have done good work, heroic work, but this tarnishes it – it damages our reputation as people, as a nation. He’s not the only one, certainly. Sounds like his men were cowards, and that’s not how I picture Marines.
He represents US. I’d feel indignant and want to report it, as well. Conduct unbecoming an officer – isn’t that a real “crime” in the military??
Holly,
I can see your well justified indignation. Unfortunately, this type of behavior is not all that unusual in some military abroad. However, I believe that after too many incidents like the this one caused problems, the military clamped down on personnel going into Mexico and put restrictions in place to avoid such things happening again (this occurred in 2002).
I have to say that on a few occasions in life I have spoken up loudly to shut some lout up…usually to tell the person to simmer down and stop behaving like an idiot…
it’s a hard call…because the size and strength of him was driven by alcohol…
And because of that and his rank he gets away with stuff like that…disgusting…
good post…
~cath
@jonesbabie on Twitter
Cath,
I’m glad to hear that you have spoken up to shut some lout up even though it’s hard call. We can’t all keep silent. And yes, his behavior and attitude were disgusting, but I think it was equally disgusting that I was warned not to try and report him.
Good for you speaking up. I would’ve reported him to Headquarters, or what the equivalent would have been. That’s disgusting behaviour. But then being an Aussie not sure how it would work.
Josie x
Josie,
I wanted to report him but I was warned not to, that the Marines “look after their own” and they might come after me. At the time, I wasn’t a U.S. resident so I was too afraid to take action other than publishing this in my newspaper column, in a local newsletter, and much later, on an online site.
Thanks for posting this story. There is just no right anwer to this one. Nobody was likely to get physically hurt (at least on the bus–he may very well have committed some serious offense against women in Tijuana), but it’s hard to sit quietly when you see this happening.
Having just watched live footage of rioting in my city, and seen good people being beaten badly for confronting rioters, I really think it’s too tough to say what I would do in any given situation. I was in a situation similar in some ways to what you described and took a hard fist in the jaw for it. I’ve often thought about all the what-ifs and I should haves.
I’ll be looking forward to reading the book when published!
Thanks, Eric,
I have to agree that there’s no right answer. It can go both ways and I was seriously considering punching the man in the gut before he punched me. Then it might have got violent. You say you took a hard fist in the jaw for speaking up.
I imagine that the rioting you mention is in Canada over the hockey conflict, but it could be anywhere, at anytime. I have been caught in riots in Mexico, a peaceful one when they reached the World Cup Finals and one that ended in a massacre when troops opened fire, so I know that those situations are always scary.
Pen..yes, you are right. You should have reported him. He was out of control and a danger to you and the others. If he did suffer a great loss, then he should have been on base working it out, not taking it out on civilians.
Stuart,
Again, as I said in another comment, I didn’t report him because I was warned not to and personal repercussions if I did. These days, I probably would. I’m older, less easily put off, and also an American resident, which I wasn’t at the time.
I admire your courage. I honestly don’t know if I would’ve been as brave as you given the same situation, but I sure would wish to be. I know that if I don’t speak up as you did, I would forever punish myself and wish I had done something. It would probably be something I would be ashamed of for the rest of my life. Perhaps if I had some security, some assurance that someone would stop the b*st*rd before he hurts me, then it would be easier to speak my mind. As for the fate of that ‘scumbag’ (borrowing from Muriel above), I think it’s already been done to him…whatever pile of crap he’s spewing has already been done to him…tenfold.
Thank you for posting this. You were very brave to speak up. I would like to think I would do the same. It never ceases to amaze me how people let injustice pass. It brings to mind the quote from Pastor Niemoller:
First they came for the communists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.
What a great piece/quote to quote here. It makes my blood run cold because there’s so much truth in it. Thanks for posting it.
Hi Penelope -
In my living abroad in the early 1990s, I ran into American military often. I also had some instances where they needed to be told to chill out. They were told to stand down and did so. Americans in general (not just the military), can be rude and obnoxious visitors in countries abroad. I witnessed sad and sorry representations of America every where. So much so, that I didn’t want to be around any Americans. Who does this Captain think he is? He’s no man. He’s a boy with a title. Thank you.
Charlie,
Thanks for your observations about American military abroad. Sad but true. At least they stand down when told to. But there is always the ignorant bully who thinks he can insult the “littler” people because of the color of their skins and because they are not, like him, an almighty American.
Charlie, One other thing. I have a Mexican son (half-English and doesn’t look Mexican), but he constantly runs into problems – though not necessarily insults – when he crosses the border – because he is Mexican.
Good on you for your courage! My Dad is in the Army and we lived in America for three years, and I have nothing but kind words for them. HOWEVER like any place, there are always bad seeds and this guy is one of them. Shame on him, his day will come. He obviously thought he was powerful, but one day he will come across the wrong person. Well done to you for having the courage. I would like to imagine I would say something, but sometimes in the moment all you can do is sit back and just stare in horror.
Alexandra,
I was tempted to do just that – sit back and stare in horror, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. Despite my fair hair and complexion, I am part Mexican and so, in a way, he was also insulting me.
Wow! To think that people always criticize the machismo culture of Latin America! You know, that icky feeling of not being able to report injustices is a new one for me. I just heard about a friend who was molested by her professor in the Faculty of Law, but she can’t say anything because of her grades. There was another case of a family silenced about a murder because the police said they didn’t want the murderers to get away — in the news, it was reported as a suicide and the family had to deal with the judgment and gossip.
The piece that scared me the most was a news article I saw last week about a mom who was almost killed because she asked for the heaviest penalty for some gang members that had left her daughter severely disabled. That’s the freakiest part — knowing that reporting acts have their own consequences and that the police can’t always help. =(
Samantha,
Yes, it is scary that so many injustices, assaults, evil acts, etc. go unreported due to fear of retribution. One of the oldest in the world is the rape victim who must remain silent or have to face severe consequences. This happens all too often, at all levels of society and in every country in this world, people are threatened, blackmailed, and scared into silence. Nothing to do with any Latin American machismo culture. In the Anglo culture, it seems to start at school where kids are afraid to report bullying, molestation, etc. or even told that it is unfair to tattle on each other. In this country, the military can do no harm, supposedly, and the person who uncovers any wrongdoing may be tarnished for life or have to go into hiding. Politicians coerce people into silence so who cares about one drunk marine captain who bullies Mexicans? If you want to risk limbs or even your life, then stand up to these people. I have a friend who did just that and was threatened 9 times with a gun to his head, then lost jobs or was demoted as a result.